you make my stomach sick.

did you know that ? everytime i look at the past, you make me want to throw up all over again. you make me want to do so many things, so i congrats you, amazing how you can make a person feel so low in something she should be number uno for. thanks. you ruined my life & you're lucky i don't feel like ruinning yours because that, those actions, oh boy you wouldn't want to witness a horrible act of revenage.


on that note, i sat on my window and went back in time for a bit. i went back to think about a particular event that never really stop crossing my mind every now and then. its an adorable story, a wonderful day, but the ending will make you smile yourself if you'd experience this in life. well its one of those first _____, or first time you have ______, anything in the area of first time experiences, remember those? yet those sometimes may be nightmares, but every person has to have an amazing moment with a beloved one, its just part of life. 5 or 85, everyone knows how it feels to feel so loved, cared for, and to have that one special man/woman to caress your forehead and tell you they are in absolute hands down in love with you in with everything they have in their system. then one day, suddenly you're not the one lying in thier arms. you become nothing to them. you drop to the asphalt and then slowly built up yourself again, you get knocked down 1000s of time before you can actually say you're okay. and then always, after every heartbreak, everytime you jsut wanted to give up, someone sweeps you off your feet, and grabs you before you fall back into your old state. they cherish you, they take care of you, then they love you. they give you something so spectacular, something you lost long ago. and i thank you for being there, not only to love me but to just take care of me to be there when i was on my knees bawling because i lost something i thought i wouldn't be able to find anymore. its like someone above send you down to save me. though you are not in my life as much during that time, thanks for always checking up on me now and then. for cheering me up with your stupid songs and cute dog, thanks man.